Our Adoption Testimony

This is some of what God has done in our family in the past few years.  The journey we took through adoption has been a series of open and closed doors. 

When we got married we knew we wanted children, but we also knew that I might not be able to have them.  Whenever we talked about kids, Steve always made sure that I knew that adoption was an option we had.

               

I had always wanted to have children.  I have had surgeries, taken medication and have prayed for healing.  But that was not God’s plan.  After trying for a couple of years and even trying fertility pills we decided to just wait for God’s time.  It was not long after that I was healed.  During communion one Sunday I had a peace in my heart.  God had answered my prayers, by closing that door, and opening my heart to adoption.  I looked at Steve and told him I was ready to get a hysterectomy and start the adoption process.

                    After much talking and praying we chose to pursue international adoption. We found an agency and started the process to get a baby from Vietnam.  After nearly completing the paperwork, we learned the regular program from Vietnam was in jeopardy.  Believing that this was what we ought to be doing, we pressed on anyway.  When the borders (and that door) actually did close, we were devastated.  There was no way we could get a healthy baby so we started looking for other options, which led us to their special needs program.  The door was open again.  But no sooner had we spread the word about our adoption of a 4 year old special needs boy, that all adoptions were halted from Vietnam.

          We were hurt, confused and even angry.  We did not understand why God had opened these doors just to shut them.  Until then we’d done what we felt led to do, but we thought it was time for us take a break.  In the middle of our break (and before we thought we were ready) we got a call from Cheryl, our Vietnam agent, saying she found a boy from Taiwan and thought of us.  It was hard because Taiwan wasn’t part of our plan.

                   But it was in God’s plan.  Just as fast as the last door shut this door flew open. Everything about Elias’ adoption was fast. We worked with a new agency but still had help from Dick and Cheryl.  God was always one step in front of us preparing the way.

                   Within months we were in Taiwan.  Our plan was simple: to get in, get Elias, and get home.  That is what we did. However we also knew that going from no children to a 7 year old was going to be hard.  We were not as prepared as we thought.  We have learned a lot since then, and cannot express the amount of love we have for him.  We have also looked at our relationship with Jesus differently.  We are adopted children of God through Jesus.  We come as we are and He helps us grow.      

                   We have always thought it would be important to read Bible stories to our kids.  While reading the Bible to Elias, we began to see the stories in a new light.  Aspects of adoption, even international adoption could be found in the stories of Joseph, Moses, Ruth, Esther and so many others--individuals who left their land, their people or their family to go to a completely new and different place.  Elias was able to relate to many of these stories, but for a long time, Joseph and his life in Egypt was his favorite.

                   We knew that one kid was not enough, so we started the search for a little girl.  We found Jade who was from Ch*na and had mild intelligence delays.  We really doubted our ability to parent a child with physical or major special needs, but we felt that we could handle her needs.  Most mild mental delays exist because the child has had a hard life. With time, patience and the security of a stable- loving home, these can be overcome.

                   Here God had opened the door for us, but the paperwork was a struggle to get through.  Nothing seemed to be going right.  We could not give up, but we were tired of all the hang-ups.  Then we came across a little boy that just spoke to us.  I made some calls and found out that we could add him to Jade’s adoption but if we had been any further along this door would have been closed.  For some reason, the decision to adopt Abram was an easy one.  We had a peace about him and we knew he was from God. After that, paperwork got easier.

                   For us, the idea of going to Ch*na for three weeks was our Mt. Everest.  We left and went to get Jade first.  Even with the high elevation, cold weather and the smell of burning coal everywhere, I had none of the breathing problems we feared she would. We knew God was watching over us.

                   When we first met Jade, she was in survival mode.  She smiled but did not really interact with us.  We tried to let her walk, but she was too overwhelmed.  So we carried her until we got back to the hotel.  Steve thought he noticed something wasn’t quite right.

                   Steve and Elias left the hotel shortly after we got back.  I was left alone with Jade.  It did not take long to see that there was indeed something wrong.  She had trouble walking, keeping her balance and even coloring or using her hands.  This is not what we had signed up for.  There was something physically wrong with our child and I was scared.   

          I had to get up and walk around. I had tears in my eyes. I gave her a snack and I cried.  Not very openly, but I was bawling on the inside. This was not the girl we expected.  I was scared and alone.

          When they got back, I told Steve that something was not right with Jade. She was not responding to much of anything. She was not walking right, frequently falling down, and having trouble with her fine motor skills.  We were prepared for mental special needs, not physical.

          That night after the kids went to bed, Steve and I went into the bathroom and talked, cried, got angry and finally prayed.  Why did her paperwork not mention this? What other things were they keeping from us? We did not know why we were not told about this and why they did not send us the video that they had taken of her which would have prepared us for this.  We were scared and still had another kid that we were suppose to pick up in a week. We were alone.

                   Jade was our daughter and we were going to keep her no matter what… Early the next morning, we went and signed the paperwork. According to Ch*na she was now ours.  But what about Abram? What could have they kept from us about him? What was the truth about him?

          After many talks in the bathroom or off to the side away from the kids, Steve and I decided that we needed to call our agency.  From what we knew we expected Abram was going to have some behavioral problems and emotional things to work through. We knew that if we met Abram we would not be able to give him up. Now everything we thought had been turned upside down. Jade could not even take 10 steps without falling. How could we take care of another kid? What good could we do if we could not handle it?

          We called and asked what we needed to do to stop Abram’s adoption. This was the hardest call I have ever had to make in my life.  That night was a very, very hard night.  We could not sleep. We were alone in the middle of Ch*na. Satan was at work.

                    About 11:30 that night we got a phone call. It was our main coordinator in Ch*na.  He had called Abram’s orphanage and then called us back to tell us he was told that Abram was a sweet, healthy kid.  He gave us 24 hours to make our decision.

          The next morning God started talking.  I think He was talking the whole time, but we were not ready to listen.  We were not alone.  God had shown us that he had the perfect plan, and we needed to stay out of His way.  I reminded Steve “Abram is a God thing. He has always been a God thing.  God’s plan is for Abram to be part of our family and that is what we need to do. He will provide and take care of us.” 

                    We took a leap of faith and continued on as planned.  After that things got easier for us. We had a peace in our hearts.  We were still stressed and overwhelmed but through it all, we knew that everything would work out.

                    We went to Abram’s province and he was brought to our hotel room.  Then we sat around for hours watching and playing with all three of our kids.  It felt right.  There was a sense of completeness with our family that both Steve and I felt.  Abram, as it turned out, was a sweet, healthy little boy.

                    Jade was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy shortly after we came home.  She also has no sign of intelligence delay. In fact she is very smart.  We are so proud of the progress she has made.  She is a strong and determined girl.

          It has been so amazing to see how God works.  He had the perfect plan for our family the whole time.  He made these kids to be a part of our family.  It was hard at the time, but all the closed doors were put in place to change our hearts or lead us down a different path.  Maybe even to humble us a little more.  We now praise God for both the open and closed doors.  Our children are a blessing and we thank God for them every day.